People of Britain, you
have spoken and you shall not speak again: you have elected to place the
dogging community and those who practice the dogging lifestyle at the centre of
national life and post-Brexit regeneration. As the poet imagines:
fences
impearled with natural oils from budding tools,
fast
comforts of the dogging sites of Global Britain.
Let me tell you how I intend
to further your lusty desires once we have repatriated our laws (did you see
what I did there? I used a word that the National Front used to use about
people, but I’m using it in a Brexity sort of way, which has nothing to do with
racism, nothing at all!). Designated dogging sites are a rariety, except in Sussex, Kent and on the Wirral, and we plan
to make such areas as plentiful and opulent as ordinary beauty spots. And what
beauties have I spotted, hiding behind my bumper to watch the dogging community
and those who practice the dogging lifestyle in rich action! As the poet also
said:
You stuck out a mile in the Ladyboys of
Bognor,
bigging yourself up in Bignor like you
owned the place.
You’d be walking the South Downs Way, believe me,
after wild frenzy with Tom of Findon -
or with a femdom Alpha bitch in Fulking
Dungeon,
nettle-thrashing you, Unworthy of Worthing!
Of course, not being part of
the dogging community or those who practice the dogging lifestyle, I can only
wonder,
Like a man filming his wife taking a selfie
of
her silvered face in sylvan Windsor
Park.
Indeed:
‘This
is such a pleasant spot to stain with pleasure:
the
picnic tables, the rustic spread, the chorus of wasps
around
the bin,’ the Rake from Hell remarks, pulling
his
vest back on but feeling well pissed off…
In the new year, after
Independence Day, I pledge to bring forward legislation to register dogging
sites under the new Rural Affairs Act 2019 and to legislate for better
protection for those in the dogging community and for those who practice the
dogging lifestyle. As custodians of the environment, fecundating the land
with your leaky seed, you need to be recognised as what you truly are. (And the
ladies too, with their obliging ingresses.)
M. Go
(Leaver by name and by naturism, but I’ll stick with you, like a tool stuck to a frozen gatepost! I remain, well, I don’t actually, yours, etc..)
(Leaver by name and by naturism, but I’ll stick with you, like a tool stuck to a frozen gatepost! I remain, well, I don’t actually, yours, etc..)
